Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize