i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Are we still banned from the library?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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