I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
