so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
do herpes really smell.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
