You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
