There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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