i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
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A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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