I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
