Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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