We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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