i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
