my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize