I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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