Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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