Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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