So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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