two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
