if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
