Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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