Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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