just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
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My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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