And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
