About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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