so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize