dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He told me they were just razor bumps!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
