is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
