fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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