I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize