I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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