dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
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