More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
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20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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