why didn't you poke me back
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
