She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
