Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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