I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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