So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize