So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
