He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
