I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
