youre lurking in front of me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
