My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
