the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
