Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
