ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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