No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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