You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
