But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
