It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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