Screwed.edu
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i am craving dick and cupcakes
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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