I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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