At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
