sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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