i was born a porn star she said
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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