I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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