I cockslap morals
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
