Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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