I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
