some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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