At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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