I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
