One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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