She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
