AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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