margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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