i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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