tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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