I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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