In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's great music for shaving your balls
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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